I drove to Asheville this morning for the grand finale of my apartment clean-out. Now I'm back in Greensboro. I felt pretty weird and sad all day. This morning I felt especially melancholy. It wasn't really a bad sort of melancholy, actually it felt kind of good, oddly comforting. A numb sort of sad.
As I drove out of Greensboro I turned on the radio to the college station that I like, hoping it wouldn't fade away too quickly. When I tuned in, one of my favorite songs had just started playing, Kurt Vile's "Smoke Ring for My Halo." It worked perfectly as a soundtrack for my vacuously pensive sort of mood. The sky was a complete blanket of light gray. An omnipresent cloud. And the morning air felt brisk. It was the first cool day of the season. I felt exactly like the climate. We were one...and this song was the backdrop. I wrapped myself in that cloud and felt completely immersed in this song and the sky. Hopefully my driving wasn't dangerous, I wasn't really paying attention to it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=leMQ2kLtQlY
The subsequent song was a total buzz kill, so I hit the scan button. The next station was playing Tina Turner's "What's Love Got to Do With It?" I completely abandoned my melancholy for a joyous relief of frustration, i.e. I belted out this song with Tina until my throat hurt. Did I mention I reallllly can't sing? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCBttS_y7lE
God that felt good. My moods seem so chaotic when juxtaposed next to each other, yet the sentiment behind all of them is continual, unceasing. I just haven't quite grasped what my general sentiment is. I probably wouldn't be so moody if I could figure that out.