Essay Titles

Here are some satirical essay titles I've thought of but have not written content for and probably never will. 
*I know some of these titles contradict each other. And also make me sound like I'm one of the people I hate. Which is totally true. 

Poor White Kids with Rich Parents, A Cultural Phenomenon

On Being Broke, Frightfully Vulgar and Well-Read: How the literature of dead aristocrats makes me feel good despite my lack of class

On Hating Everything, Including Your Own Optimism

Two Essays:
I. On Having All the Wrong Intentions yet Doing Good Things
II. On Having Good Intentions and Always Fucking Up Everything

On Being Alone versus Being Lonely: They're not the same thing, damn it! But fine, okay, I totally get lonely sometimes. 

On Serving White Collar Professionals Drive-thru Coffee: A study in human nature and post-post-modern sociology

The Elitism of Young, Unemployed Intellectuals: Examples of why I prefer being around people who don't read books. A collection of photographs primarily taken in Carrboro, North Carolina.

Two Essays:
I. On Thinking Everyone is Dumb except for Yourself and then Realizing You're Really, Really Wrong
II. On Growing the Fuck up and Getting over Yourself: A psycological process often referred to as maturity