1.) When adult females wear pigtails, especially unbraided ones...they look like the ears of a hound.
2.) Regarding social media related shiz:
A.) When people post pictures of other peoples' children on Facebook. WTF? It's confusing and kind of creepy.
B.) When people post pictures of what they cooked for dinner and use some fancy hipster filters to make meatloaf, instant mashed potatoes and a warmed up can of lima beans look awesome.
C.) When people legitimately, sincerely, to the depths of their hearts, think that others enjoy looking at multiple pictures of their pets.
4.) When people argue about shit that doesn't matter, or shit they can't control, or shit they can't control that also doesn't matter. This can get real ugly at the bar, but at least it's amusing for spectators. However, when the internet is used as a platform, it's just plain irritating.
5.) When I split a bill at a restaurant with some various friend who makes more money than I do and I furtively glance at his/her receipt and see that he/she has left a shitty tip. Well I guess that means I will tip extra so that the percent for the table will be at least 20% for that very sweet and kinda hot waitress we had, thanks buddy.
A.) When I meet someone for the first time and ask them what they do and they give me more than a 3 sentence explanation. I just can't listen with any sort of interest past 3 sentences. And if he/she does something legitimately awesome with his/her life, like goes to Africa with doctors without borders or whatever, I just feel jealous and pissed, and then I wonder how much that person's parents make for a living (which is terrible, I know).
B.) (This one is more about how I'm annoying, and how I annoy myself) When I have to go to functions full of acquaintances and we all have to play the game of "So what are you up to these days?" And people make really good eye contact with me because they've been told that's what you're supposed to do, and then I feel this anxiety that makes me talk a whole bunch about nothing. And then I get really stressed out feeling like I come across as though I think I'm real important. When really all I'm trying to say is "my life is dumb and I'm perpetually miserable".
To be continued as I find myself getting pissed off throughout the coming days and weeks and years.