tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31624122207126106372024-03-13T09:28:02.472-07:00Tactless Intentions.Drawings, Writing
and Miscellaneous Et Cetera.Emily Storyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00361922835945839553noreply@blogger.comBlogger241125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3162412220712610637.post-8424011380938447142017-10-24T14:13:00.001-07:002018-09-07T19:14:22.154-07:00I haven't written in a while<span style="font-family: "courier new", courier, monospace;">I know that keeping rooms dark in the summer
keeps things cooler and saves on the electric bill, but I need the light to
come in so that I don’t have to go out in it. The heat is something everyone is
always talking about in the summer. I try to avoid experiencing it, though
remaining adjacent to it most of the time makes me romanticize it in some sort
of Gothic literary way that maybe only a modern Southerner could understand.
Some people probably think “modern southerner” is an oxymoron. But that’s a
topic for another day. I’m still not sure I understand what Southern Gothic
meant or means. The stifling humidity only experienced on my way from an air
conditioned building to an air conditioned vehicle makes me sticky…the residue
on my skin feels like home and I never really know if I love my home. Everyone
loves his or her home in some weird way. No, that certainly isn’t true…not in
the nostalgic childhood sense. It took me a long time to realize that lots of
people had terrible childhoods. And even longer to understand that I can’t
understand. But in therapy I talk about growing up feeling like an outcast a
lot. Every time I talk about all the girls who left me out as a child, and my
fear of rejection, I became pretty grossed out by my own privilege…that not fitting
in was the worst thing that happened to me as a kid. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: small;">I'm getting more okay with being weird these days. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: small;">I keep getting stains on my clothes. Paint and
peanut butter oil and random nonsense. I can’t go out with dirty clothes, but I
do it all the time. Fighting decorum only intentionally in my subconscious, but
consciously I just feel guilty and embarrassed. Guilty that I don’t take
care of my things, embarrassed that my clothes aren’t clean. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: small;">I treat my cat like any other human. Except
that I feed her. It’s hard for me not to just meet people and animals where
they are in my presumptions. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: small;">Civility is the most taught thing I’ll ever
know, to never know, because it’s just learned behavior. I can’t know things
that I learned a long time ago, unless I try really hard and even then I can
only out learn to the extent that I acknowledge how deeply engrained they are.
Nature versus nurture, nuture versus negligence, who are we anyway. Everything
we’ve ever been up until now. And then there’s tomorrow. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: small;">Nope, I'm tired of believing that. I can change, I can unlearn things, I can out learn them. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: small;">I wonder if I’ll ever
be a tidy person. I wonder if my cat loves me, I know my bunnies don’t, but
they tolerate my existence for the most part. Tolerance is an old fashioned
word. It has an icky ring to it at this point in history. Still that’s what
they seem to do. At least that’s my personal perception of our relationship.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: small;">I’ve always liked flamingos. They were the
first thing that came to mind when I tried to think of a first thing. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: small;">I never broke a center block in tae kwon do, just lots of boards. I can’t remember if I tried, but when I try to remember I
imagine myself hurting my hand really badly on the cement, and then I wonder what’s
a real memory. Are memories unreal if they’re recalling a falsehood? People
talk about memory a lot. Nostalgia is a buzz word right now. What are we
nostalgic for? A time when things seemed less complicated. The past almost
always seems less complicated. Maybe because there’s some comfort in the
certainty of the past, that it did actually happen, that it did shape us in
this or that way because of how the events transgressed. Yes, the past
certainly did happen, there’s a security in that, whether it was good or bad.
Comfort may not always be the right word and many people probably feel
comforted simply by the past being dead. The uncertainty of what the future
holds may make people feel better, feel promised something. But the past
doesn’t lie, it’s not prostrate like a corpse, it’s a flowy wave of sensical
chaos that only one’s memory can lie about. </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 13pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
Emily Storyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00361922835945839553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3162412220712610637.post-19754455116491671732017-03-05T16:03:00.002-08:002017-03-05T16:03:24.500-08:00The No feels Feels<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdzWvxkseyREtv83JE-BaQw0bhhH4sDQsxDlBjhBUJK94DKoCFZ65gqTiNr00TR77XvXGEsmgyAUvCCXYAzrtdEiCfKgunnDqeyR81OxHVghJ13AfgrABBBEpwUaZiAl_0RdLKlVmr2tLJ/s1600/IMG_20170304_141117_457.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdzWvxkseyREtv83JE-BaQw0bhhH4sDQsxDlBjhBUJK94DKoCFZ65gqTiNr00TR77XvXGEsmgyAUvCCXYAzrtdEiCfKgunnDqeyR81OxHVghJ13AfgrABBBEpwUaZiAl_0RdLKlVmr2tLJ/s640/IMG_20170304_141117_457.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />Emily Storyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00361922835945839553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3162412220712610637.post-14540619303725011592017-02-08T10:18:00.003-08:002017-02-08T10:18:46.402-08:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Emily Storyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00361922835945839553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3162412220712610637.post-33766776770612803712016-09-13T19:49:00.004-07:002016-09-13T19:49:25.822-07:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0L89_-7QkviqghK3x0zyWvGmimI9Y-sbDWXJbL7idAcBFrrp38cG72gSN2QGi7VBrYO0hioVQ5hR09Kpb0Kaq5ZPs2aAfNL8_CIZhnVYN8t_jJYJnAz6I4IoiXv4_Bs2HXGTHXZYyBVYw/s1600/IMG_20160913_145725.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0L89_-7QkviqghK3x0zyWvGmimI9Y-sbDWXJbL7idAcBFrrp38cG72gSN2QGi7VBrYO0hioVQ5hR09Kpb0Kaq5ZPs2aAfNL8_CIZhnVYN8t_jJYJnAz6I4IoiXv4_Bs2HXGTHXZYyBVYw/s640/IMG_20160913_145725.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />Emily Storyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00361922835945839553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3162412220712610637.post-19822192194262066942016-07-23T07:41:00.000-07:002016-07-23T07:41:19.460-07:00Commission workI haven't posted much in a while because I've been busy working on commissions.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Emily Storyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00361922835945839553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3162412220712610637.post-3813195015721272092016-04-28T08:48:00.001-07:002017-03-08T05:45:01.041-08:00The ants go marching one-by-one...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEit5kb2L_aAIKxlrNz0mPi_TG3vEJE2LJ9PfB2xrwPijlob__kxTaErkTPgmYXxErQe-yl9IYz-Rg4Cu17lR5WVrkgiungjTcZ4OpaEkY4Fc7GmU2VJDpDoBYJc5r_mX36f7MxKDeuMDHa9/s1600/SignificAnt.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEit5kb2L_aAIKxlrNz0mPi_TG3vEJE2LJ9PfB2xrwPijlob__kxTaErkTPgmYXxErQe-yl9IYz-Rg4Cu17lR5WVrkgiungjTcZ4OpaEkY4Fc7GmU2VJDpDoBYJc5r_mX36f7MxKDeuMDHa9/s400/SignificAnt.jpg" width="283" /></a></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
The ants have invaded. It’s summer, technically spring. I
hate killing ants. It is so underserved. They are innocent. Slaves to instinct.
Sometimes I think there’s a freedom in that. I spray their line with bathroom
cleaner and watch them all instantly wither up and hope that they somehow can’t
feel it. Then I wonder if a millisecond of pain for an ant is like a year of
pain for a human, since ants are so much smaller than us…which I know probably
doesn’t make any scientific sense. When I told a guy I kinda dated for a week
or so about this he asserted that they certainly did feel pain. He said it in a
way that made me wonder if he wanted me to feel even worse, but I think he just
stated things very matter-of-factly in general. I often confuse straight-forwardness
with dick-ish-ness, I’m a sensitive gal. But I can get pretty preachy about the
value of honesty, so I guess I shouldn’t get so wounded when people tell me the
truth. The ants probably do feel it. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have found one source of entry and exodus for the ants…a
hole…a tunnel rather, leading too and fro the outside world, to the hill, to
the queen. I like the idea of matriarchal societies, but as I watch the ants scurry about in highly organized lunacy, following the chaotic trails marked by
previous braver, maybe more frightened ants, I can’t help but see the obvious
parallels in human culture. The comparison has been made a time or two before…I’ve
lost the part of my ego that believed I could ever say something original at
this point in human history, in my own history, in the present. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I covered up their talc tunnel with a band-aid and watched
as all the confused ants started piling up at the blockade. It began with two
ants and quickly became 15 or more. They were moving about scared and baffled,
still somewhat in a line formation, like the bank lines of 1929. I felt so
awful. I considered removing the band-aid and granting them their still-indentured
freedom, but instead I just sprayed them all. I felt like an executioner
shooting off a murderous line of fire. I just annihilated them one after
another. I started thinking about Arendt’s “banality of evil” yet I had real
feelings on the matter, terrible feelings. Crippling guilt mixed with a weird
sense of thrill, which didn’t sit well with my own hopes that maybe I’m an
intrinsically good person. No, I’m good and bad, like everyone else. But I want
to be good, as good as I can be. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Since then the ant population has declined with
the aid of some sort of device my dad gave me as well as the band-aid. I know
they’ll be back though. And the cycle of weird murderous excitement and
subsequent terrible guilt will continue</span><!--EndFragment-->
Emily Storyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00361922835945839553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3162412220712610637.post-74851874590360077102016-03-07T08:19:00.001-08:002016-03-07T18:13:40.917-08:00Post-shattering the unswept floor. <div class="MsoNormal">
I hold onto false ideas. Conceptions I have of the past that
travel with me through time. Friendships with people I never communicate
with…people who could die and I might not even find out. The comfort is there
that comes from a lost intimacy I cling to, that’s dead. Holding me back from a
tabula rasa, because I feel like I’ve already lived a lot of life. I guess that's kind of a paradox. And now I
keep on truckin’ along like the little engine that plateaued. Memories foggy
and intertwined and non-linear and non-sensical are losing their magic, losing
their details, losing their gusto. And I wonder, what can I do to maintain that
sense of wonder, that sense of self, in an existence that’s grown dull and
unimagined. But my imagination is still there, killing me softly, good memories
with past lovers who hurt me, people that I hurt too. Haunting me constantly,
the good times, the comfort, the closeness, the love. It’s gone. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And I fail sometimes at strength. So often I feel weak. I
text him and of course he doesn’t respond. I wonder how the fish I gave him
died. Did he flush it down the toilet live, or did he just forget about it and
starve the little guy to death? The beta fish. Carolina blue, that was his
team. I asked him once if the fish was still alive and he said “no”. That
didn’t give me a lot of closure. If he flushed it down the toilet alive, that
would be a pretty good metaphor, a cheap metaphor, for everything that was and
then wasn’t so quickly. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And I almost wasn’t and I want that person to feel like
shit. But I don’t even think he cares.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And I say the Zoloft did it. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I say it was “medical mal-practice”. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My heart has been broken. I am so fucking broken. I want to
think the pieces could make for a beautifully abstract mosaic, but really I
still just feel like all the pieces are on a dirty floor some where in hell. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<!--EndFragment--><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Maybe if I just let go of all the experiences that have lead
to my sense of self, my sense of being, my identity…maybe if I just let it all
go, I could live anew.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>People I never
speak to, they aren’t here. Their role in my life is dead and gone though
they may live on. <o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
I just wish I didn't have to dream about him. I wish I just could never sleep.<br />
<br />
And it's not just one person. It's a collage of people. Beautiful moments that have left a bad taste in my mouth. And my body just feels icky, impure, and I know it's unfair. I shouldn't have to feel that way about myself. But I do. All of these naked phantoms leaving a sort of film on the entirety of me. Sticking around long after the person is gone, reminding me to hate myself. And I'm unable to hate the people that made me feel this way. Wishing they'd come back around and feeling stupid for feeling that way. No calls. No texts. No emails. No social media interaction. Dead. Nothing. </div>
Emily Storyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00361922835945839553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3162412220712610637.post-16699186877230378032016-02-28T18:20:00.000-08:002016-02-28T18:34:49.453-08:00Un-Apparitions<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDxcYP65wL-hs-YBq6inXP6AIMpFH1cvXP-F18JznQqWfbfNeQAYo0b7kku_7KjTNfsOl-fH4YeYL82GG18vAxthbGJnqICcxYTZLQu83SvwwQFyPNp6RkTqoago8pANAWSUahZOX00sKH/s1600/nun+ghosts.bin" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="260" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDxcYP65wL-hs-YBq6inXP6AIMpFH1cvXP-F18JznQqWfbfNeQAYo0b7kku_7KjTNfsOl-fH4YeYL82GG18vAxthbGJnqICcxYTZLQu83SvwwQFyPNp6RkTqoago8pANAWSUahZOX00sKH/s400/nun+ghosts.bin" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I think I hear ghosts<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And then I realize<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s just this or that<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nonliving, animate objects<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Clanking about <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Or Screeching <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Like convicts<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In solitary confinement<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Scarecorws<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Unrealizing the fear<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
They give me <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In the night<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The heater, the floors<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The wind<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m easily spooked<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And even more easily<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nauseated.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I thought it all started <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After that attempt I made<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To not exist<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In the world I know. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But now I think it began before.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Dry heaving into trashcans, <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Spitting out my empty attempts<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To release the <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>bad unfeelings<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Manifestations of emptiness<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There wasn’t anything there <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To purge<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Just an invisible sadness<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Broken glass<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Phantom Vomit<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ghosts of people<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Out there in the world<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Moving about,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Living their lives.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m scared of everything.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I hide behind the sofa <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In my dead grandmother’s house<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sold long ago <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To Strangers<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I hide there in hopes that<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ll never have to hear of pain<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Or see road kill<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Or learn about more atrocities.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I guard myself from such things<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Always knowing,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
With so much nausea, <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That security is a silly word<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Manufactured improperly<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At a bullet proofing factory<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That shut down centuries back<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Due to various issues<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And I find myself forgetting to breath <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In the most physically trying of my experiences<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Like climbing to the third floor of my apartment building<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Once a dormitory for nuns<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Who worked as nurses in a hospital that burnt down<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The same year as the Asylum did<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Where Zelda Fitzgerald was kept<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
From the world<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I hold my breath every time I ascend<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The stairway to my little habitat<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And as I enter,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I take in giant gasps of air<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Like a drowning person resurrected<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Winded with thoughts of death and dying<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I shouldn’t think about the simplicity of death,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Or the torture of it all<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The toil of living<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The toil of dying<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Every time I walk up those stairs<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I should probably just try to remember to breath,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I unintentionally mock the ghosts<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I take those first giant breaths<br />
Upon entering my home.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
Emily Storyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00361922835945839553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3162412220712610637.post-9422295725897913962016-02-07T18:29:00.000-08:002016-02-07T18:33:35.145-08:00Scorsese Moon Landing<div class="MsoNormal">
Xx: Have you ever been to the moon?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Xy: Nope, can’t say that I have, have you?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Xx: Nope.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Xy: What kind of a question is that anyway?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Xx.: I guess it’s the kind of question that asks someone if they’ve been to a place.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Xy: You know what I mean.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Xx: Well I went to this stand-up show recently and the guy was talking about how stupid the expression “shoot for the moon is” because only twelve people have ever walked on it. But I thought hmmm maybe Mark could’ve been one of those people. There’s a chance right?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Xy: Well I took a statistics class once and there can be a probability for anything’s chance of happening<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Xx: why did you tell me you took a statistics class?...that was kind of unnecessary support for what you said.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Xy: Well why the fuck did you ask me if I’d ever been to the moon?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Xx: I was just curious<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Xy: You’ve known me for 2 years, Sadie.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Xx: Yeah well, you could’ve withheld that information…maybe it was a traumatic experience for you<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Xy: I think you just want people to think you’re weird, so you feel this need to be absurd all the time<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Xx: well that doesn’t make any sense.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Xy: yes it does.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Xx: nothing that is absurd is rational, and acting absurd to keep the facade up that I’m weirder than I actually am is pretty rational<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Xy:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>First of all, absurdity is often highly rational...and GOOD GOD You’re like Zooey Deschanel, you’re so damn quirky that it’s just not cute anymore, it’s a caricature, it’s just annoying<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Xx: Bluh, fuck you, are you in love with me? let’s go eat some fried quail egg and horse radish sandwiches from that really sketchy food truck that always makes me shit my pants.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Xy:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Alright, Buzz Aldrin.</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Xx: Of course you’d choose that guy over Neil. You’re super original.</div>
Emily Storyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00361922835945839553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3162412220712610637.post-23456262326838866332016-01-25T04:39:00.000-08:002016-01-25T04:50:18.068-08:00Save the Worms<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSDu80KHNdV7HTDtOJpllHpoiSxA9OQV9mweA31pWIlY1QzxYlBauAfI93uu3AOfMeEQcQPdMFhme_1vDd1MTw6U562mM6z73HrH0SFJwxSqRbcNC6HpNydMp0NnWl8F9dHBsVxAb5nIsC/s1600/earthworm.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="137" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSDu80KHNdV7HTDtOJpllHpoiSxA9OQV9mweA31pWIlY1QzxYlBauAfI93uu3AOfMeEQcQPdMFhme_1vDd1MTw6U562mM6z73HrH0SFJwxSqRbcNC6HpNydMp0NnWl8F9dHBsVxAb5nIsC/s400/earthworm.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #252525; line-height: 22px;"><br /></span></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">My neighbor and I went running in the
cold rain at the high school track recently. I couldn't run very long, I’m
pretty out of shape. But damn it felt nice to run in the rain. It was a couple
of days subsequent to my release from the psych ward after a suicide attempt. I
did a ton of aerobics and air boxing in that prison of a place to pass the time,
I really felt like I was getting in better shape, but there’s a good chance it
takes more than a couple of weeks to be a workout rockstar. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">My neighbor does CrossFit so she was
kicking ass. Not my ass in particular; I decided pretty early on that it wasn't a competition. I’m a sore loser anyhow. She was running up and down the
bleachers after sprinting a couple of miles around the track with incredibly
sexy endurance. My neighbor is one of those people whose lifestyle choices are
all about good health and longevity. She’s gluten free, soy-free, dairy-free,
alcohol-free, tasty deliciousness free. But she’s almost always depressed.
Funny how that works out. But I mean no judgment behind that (who am I kidding?
I’m obviously being judgy)..all I mean to say is that goddamn it is hard to
find a happy place and stay there. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> At least she does things in hopes of living a long, healthy life. I am a bit more destructive than that. </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I would run for 30 seconds at a time…stop…power
walk for 15 seconds…followed by some lunges just to catch my breath but still
look like I was doing something. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">While bending my front knee down into
a lunge, I noticed an earthworm on the track…I picked it up with a bit of a
wiggly jiggly struggle and gently tossed it into the field of grass. Then I
started walking around with my head down, looking to see if there were<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>more of these ill-fated, against-their-will sun
baskers. There were. A lot. Not a creepy apocalyptic plague amount…just enough
to make me feel sad for the sun to come out. I began obsessively picking them
up and throwing them into the grass and I couldn't stop. I felt that I should save
all the worms because I just tried to kill myself. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wanted to make sure nothing less atrocious
than my own demons should be murdered by the trap of man made material. So I
went around bending down and pinching up these innocent little wiggly limbless
creatures. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: inherit; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: inherit; line-height: 200%;">Earthworms are good, They are like cells of our bodies healing us
and keeping us well. They are the guardians and aides to the priceless soil.</span><span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: inherit; line-height: 200%;"> </span><span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: inherit; line-height: 200%;">They do it because that’s what they do, it is
there occupation, their purpose, what they were designed to do, and to do well.
Wouldn’t it be nice if humans did beneficial duties with complete blindness to
the outcome…an ego-less life long career of earthly betterment. Laura came down
from the bleachers and asked me what I was going. In a moment of utter mania I
yelled “I HAVE TO SAVE THE WORMS, ALL OF THE WORMS! THEY MUST LIVE!”. She’s used to
me and my energized mood swings and oddness, so she just laughed gently, said
“okey dokey” and continued running.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: inherit; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 200%;">When she lapped around again to the part of
the track that I was de-worming, I asked her “so are you going to tell Ben
about this?” Ben is her quiet, somewhat jack ass-ish husband who’s approval as
a fellow intelligent human I will never outright receive. Still somehow, I
think he likes me from a far, or is at least mildly amused by me. I wanted him
to know about the worms. He thinks Laura’s crossfit dedication is whacky and </span></span><span style="color: #1a1a1a;"><span style="line-height: 32px;">cultish</span></span><span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 200%;"> , so I thought the juxtaposition of her running and my resting heartbeat
“save the worms” mission would be funny to him. And I always want people to
think I’m funny. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">[She later told me his response to my
action was “well exercise is really boring anyway”. True that.]<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">After she passed by me again and
I got back into personal reflection mode as I searched for more worms, I
realized a part of me was performing this gesture so that I could tell people
about it, so that I could have something to write about. I had an underyling
motive that was not all pure. Sometimes I do strange things for the sake of
having something to draw about or write about. I don’t like that I do that.
Living in the moment is something all these people keep telling me to do…<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">-Appreciate
each day! <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">-Carpe
Diem! Life is beautiful! <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">-Life
is a gift! <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">-You’re
a Gift!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">-Don’t
leave us. Don’t do that again. You are loved.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">-You
have meaning, purpose. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">^The
funny thing is that I’m realizing this is all true.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">In my second attempt, not too long
after my worm search, my dad, like my roommate earlier, found me in a bath of
my own blood, totally fucked up from an overdose. I threw up a bunch, we
wrapped up my arms, neck and ankles, I ate some activated charcoal, drank salt
water and went to bed. And here I am. In the words stiched on my favorite pair
of socks: Carpe the fuck out of that Diem. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I want to be alive. I stopped taking
all the anti-psychotic crap they forced on me and for the first time in nearly 2 years
I want to live, and I feel that I have something to live for. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Suicide, unlike worm search, was not
at all an impure action. I wanted to die. I wanted to have peace. I didn’t want
something to write about, I didn’t want to write anymore, I didn’t want to
paint anymore, I didn’t want to exist anymore. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">At this point, I must go on. I want
to go on. I want to keep making art. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #1a1a1a;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">And does it matter that I wanted to
write about the worms? I did just that
and it felt damn good. </span><span style="font-family: "andale mono";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif; line-height: 22px;"><br /></span></span>
Emily Storyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00361922835945839553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3162412220712610637.post-48498323121910050452016-01-17T17:39:00.000-08:002016-01-17T17:44:01.032-08:00Let's get digital, digital.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFGCNDhzZ_yeFQ8ACNdtGhz23c5IZ3Cns5iJExmmaq5RkgkplLQoG-giDdlY06rf7zBWjofMnYKNB-kEQAOxNbvTUAH37x4fy3jEI7zcYO9Anm1JMbGvjsJt657ffd1LDJC1uf_KEaMM1m/s1600/pentagonhomes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFGCNDhzZ_yeFQ8ACNdtGhz23c5IZ3Cns5iJExmmaq5RkgkplLQoG-giDdlY06rf7zBWjofMnYKNB-kEQAOxNbvTUAH37x4fy3jEI7zcYO9Anm1JMbGvjsJt657ffd1LDJC1uf_KEaMM1m/s640/pentagonhomes.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjy4geTkhPKHf7J7ZpciqnFjY383Ewumk5Dl40pzysJP5nExWHebf9C4UvpYyeqJCkFLvM9ktklQpvbj_s1nQeXaO_l5a-CN6DA-niTEFkAJDCpmu4E9I41kEbrCzL7T3UtEm-ipL3mt6F7/s1600/PineTree.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjy4geTkhPKHf7J7ZpciqnFjY383Ewumk5Dl40pzysJP5nExWHebf9C4UvpYyeqJCkFLvM9ktklQpvbj_s1nQeXaO_l5a-CN6DA-niTEFkAJDCpmu4E9I41kEbrCzL7T3UtEm-ipL3mt6F7/s640/PineTree.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />Emily Storyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00361922835945839553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3162412220712610637.post-53173188246859654702016-01-11T12:17:00.000-08:002016-01-11T12:17:15.568-08:00Grandmother Clock<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2LpPYx5g0rJsmMclBM50SfLR-9A5L7ml_gydDT1Djdw03BNcrDxIOrA83CaizZhpINqjsJbGaI8gQNifGlLicStL65oM9wrxjSMEpVsJdrIHWJ3dXD9hYxvpRZRexGJv7wzGpheZfOmfu/s1600/GrandmaClock.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2LpPYx5g0rJsmMclBM50SfLR-9A5L7ml_gydDT1Djdw03BNcrDxIOrA83CaizZhpINqjsJbGaI8gQNifGlLicStL65oM9wrxjSMEpVsJdrIHWJ3dXD9hYxvpRZRexGJv7wzGpheZfOmfu/s640/GrandmaClock.jpg" width="474" /></a></div>
<br />Emily Storyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00361922835945839553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3162412220712610637.post-44802224264202234572016-01-08T08:55:00.002-08:002016-01-08T08:58:36.268-08:00Fading YouthYoung faces look strange to me now. Like babies; infantile, inexperienced and innocent. I want to just shake the bearer of a youthful visage and shout "you have so much to learn! So much fearfulness to swallow, so much cynicism to develop...why not just inherit it all from this shake instead of having to bear it yourself? All the rawness, the grotesque side of all other humans, the atrociousness within yourself..."<br />
<br />
I want to just high-five these young girls as a means to jolt them forward into "maturity" so that the coming years can be managed free of naivety and full of good reason and wisdom. But no, they too must go through it all to learn that life is hard, that life is beautiful.Emily Storyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00361922835945839553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3162412220712610637.post-25437969880543685542015-12-05T17:30:00.000-08:002015-12-05T17:30:42.665-08:00Broken Kaleidoscope<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8abSbY3VYB4tCdy5BfP62y4mFLR26jRsktpUsgIfK9mjqdQzIyAuHo5NcC06Idet0KyOr03Ce37GBK4hW65tpB3flg42PILON-9AZ6R2WCHFEyV52xtnARHa-5O8dkawJxFW5-lOyBXeF/s1600/Broken+Kaleidoscope.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8abSbY3VYB4tCdy5BfP62y4mFLR26jRsktpUsgIfK9mjqdQzIyAuHo5NcC06Idet0KyOr03Ce37GBK4hW65tpB3flg42PILON-9AZ6R2WCHFEyV52xtnARHa-5O8dkawJxFW5-lOyBXeF/s640/Broken+Kaleidoscope.jpg" width="472" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">spray paint+glass+hammer</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />Emily Storyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00361922835945839553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3162412220712610637.post-54781138025777693552015-11-17T17:52:00.001-08:002015-11-17T17:52:57.655-08:00The Thinker.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5lOQMtOg07A08Zv-Ne43UJxUT_8CJ7-Mff0VdnP-lNTP3vQ4l9x2RBD14GdFlbuDmbEw8Vk0FOIerNAveKrhEAfBEAMizgo5MnKpxMrVbjslQlFCnNXScoPFg8k5ZY9rsuRy-_14D7vla/s1600/FB_IMG_1447811519152.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5lOQMtOg07A08Zv-Ne43UJxUT_8CJ7-Mff0VdnP-lNTP3vQ4l9x2RBD14GdFlbuDmbEw8Vk0FOIerNAveKrhEAfBEAMizgo5MnKpxMrVbjslQlFCnNXScoPFg8k5ZY9rsuRy-_14D7vla/s640/FB_IMG_1447811519152.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />Emily Storyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00361922835945839553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3162412220712610637.post-33948755728074410262015-11-17T17:42:00.002-08:002015-11-17T17:42:54.432-08:00Robot urinating on a wall after a bar fight with a dinosaur.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhp79TpLjp-rl7LJZVOz3d9amUt86SMX-F_oUxg9CSqZsSG3JjTzjr-S3gRnz6VLPmeDmI38a2Haw-yzuxrdtJEwsDp3IJ864fsyuKnpVHrLkbX547YTVZCykECNkm2dmWOgB0u9qDmeR4-/s1600/IMG_20151117_170411.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhp79TpLjp-rl7LJZVOz3d9amUt86SMX-F_oUxg9CSqZsSG3JjTzjr-S3gRnz6VLPmeDmI38a2Haw-yzuxrdtJEwsDp3IJ864fsyuKnpVHrLkbX547YTVZCykECNkm2dmWOgB0u9qDmeR4-/s640/IMG_20151117_170411.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />Emily Storyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00361922835945839553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3162412220712610637.post-17553073187949297582015-10-23T14:35:00.000-07:002015-10-23T14:35:41.649-07:00PlaydoughThe world is a place<br />
A place of many places<br />
Here I am<br />
There you are.<br />
Go<br />
Going<br />
Near<br />
Far<br />
Where ever it is<br />
You Are<br />
<br />
And the buzzing bee<br />
is being<br />
Being a bee<br />
To be a bee<br />
Would probably be<br />
quite different<br />
Than being<br />
You or MeEmily Storyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00361922835945839553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3162412220712610637.post-54536976067230906792015-10-19T09:43:00.002-07:002015-10-19T09:43:35.419-07:00World Vomit<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmPRdmWqBolhJ9ab6Iq-dXctpNBOuMdfpmUCsEjYCu9s2QLYwpiC8sbGvQWOC06h-qsA_QQSjbSN3Zto9etti-l-3UXnm0g4sfcW9SvcJUUWuzEkBiOL7y_mHWFl0PfzY4COc53C_2DpOv/s1600/Collage1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmPRdmWqBolhJ9ab6Iq-dXctpNBOuMdfpmUCsEjYCu9s2QLYwpiC8sbGvQWOC06h-qsA_QQSjbSN3Zto9etti-l-3UXnm0g4sfcW9SvcJUUWuzEkBiOL7y_mHWFl0PfzY4COc53C_2DpOv/s640/Collage1.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />Emily Storyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00361922835945839553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3162412220712610637.post-33692305995117525682015-09-27T18:45:00.000-07:002015-09-27T18:54:24.140-07:00Fragments<div>
<span style="font-size: 13px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">A short play</span></span></div>
<div style="font-size: 13px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Scene: A Bar. 2 people talking</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 13px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-size: 13px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="color: magenta;">X:</span></b> Do you ever suddenly get overwhelmed with the feeling that you’re dead inside? </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 13px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-size: 13px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: blue;"><b>Y:</b></span> What?</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 13px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-size: 13px;">
<b><span style="color: magenta;">X:</span></b><span style="font-family: inherit;"> Ya know…just random moments throughout the day when you’re bored at work, or driving or taking a shit….do you ever just become acutely aware of a vast emptiness within yourself?</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 13px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-size: 13px;">
<b style="color: blue; font-size: 13px;">Y:</b><span style="font-family: inherit;"> No.</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 13px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-size: 13px;">
<b><span style="color: magenta;">X:</span></b><span style="font-family: inherit;"> Sorry....I don’t have much to talk about. Nothing really happens in my life anymore. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 13px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-size: 13px;">
<b style="color: blue; font-size: 13px;">Y:</b><span style="font-family: inherit;"> It's okay, nothing happens in mine either.</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 13px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-size: 13px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">...silence....</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 13px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-size: 13px;">
<b style="color: blue; font-size: 13px;">Y: </b><span style="font-family: inherit;">I got this new toothpaste the other day, the flavor is awesome, it’s changed my life.</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 13px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-size: 13px;">
<b><span style="color: magenta;">X:</span></b><span style="font-family: inherit;">: Oh yeah?</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 13px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-size: 13px;">
<b style="color: blue; font-size: 13px;">Y:</b><span style="font-family: inherit;"> That's an overstatement, but really, it’s good shit.</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 13px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-size: 13px;">
<b><span style="color: magenta;">X:</span></b> <span style="font-family: inherit;">Well if you’re a person who follows the rules and brushes your teeth twice daily, it might be life-atlering to begin and end your day with a delightful taste in your mouth. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 13px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 13px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 13px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 13px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 13px;">
<br /></div>
Emily Storyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00361922835945839553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3162412220712610637.post-57416626398979842132015-09-27T10:27:00.003-07:002015-09-27T10:27:57.844-07:00Barnacle Scars<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdIjXRnUcddT3X7P1mPtdCCeDF5dH4F23JhsLD9K6bkldyVXWFtVibV6DaoFVvVxFy8FNWAzfQOR1DmEKvoe_qLNhkOeqEwLHulQtptxfom4mwHPh_VpNDLAmPNDVdXPDZl0oARdmuoLQ0/s1600/barnacles.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdIjXRnUcddT3X7P1mPtdCCeDF5dH4F23JhsLD9K6bkldyVXWFtVibV6DaoFVvVxFy8FNWAzfQOR1DmEKvoe_qLNhkOeqEwLHulQtptxfom4mwHPh_VpNDLAmPNDVdXPDZl0oARdmuoLQ0/s640/barnacles.jpg" width="352" /></a></div>
<br />Emily Storyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00361922835945839553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3162412220712610637.post-67438111950921785512015-09-25T07:35:00.001-07:002015-09-25T07:35:20.991-07:00The Moon, it glows, it glows, The Moon. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiemdPK5OUEcs2y-AatxMoCFhf-O5SCYA2fQjcuz1Ki0B3JEuMyfVXiuoHLuPlBOp4MEen7TZJTICW473bh39JDqh-nwUWGeC2w1x_mRh_5gnhgng8OPbikcLeHlSD3u0nH7r25de49sts9/s1600/kids+these+days.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiemdPK5OUEcs2y-AatxMoCFhf-O5SCYA2fQjcuz1Ki0B3JEuMyfVXiuoHLuPlBOp4MEen7TZJTICW473bh39JDqh-nwUWGeC2w1x_mRh_5gnhgng8OPbikcLeHlSD3u0nH7r25de49sts9/s640/kids+these+days.jpg" width="482" /></a></div>
<br />Emily Storyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00361922835945839553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3162412220712610637.post-12916263985496322522015-09-12T14:36:00.000-07:002015-09-12T16:12:04.488-07:00Ramona and the Movie Flicks. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 13px;">Where does the pit go after you spit it out? the pit in my stomach gets swallowed up into the underground dumpster abyss, an endless filled-up hole. Where does it end…it’s endless. You’re not. You’re just another impala in the mouth of the lioness. Fuck you. I want to fuck you. Primal. I hate it. I hate the need to copulate. Little baby hyenas laughing at me and my withering innards. Like vultures pecking at my scabs. Buzzards. They’re ugly, ugly little fuckers. They’re bigger than hawks and dumber. And they fly in numbers, masses waiting to eat the work of better hunters. I can't even stomp on a fucking spider. I’m so sensitive. So goddamn sentimental. The bearer of gifts wild gifts. Foreign objects from no where. where the fuck are they all from? I don’t know and I don’t even wonder. No where is the location for everything. ultimately. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">But I could stare at a blue butterfly for hours. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">This morning I woke up with a bad case of melancholy. I tried completely zeroing in my focus on the softness of my cat. That regal pussy. But it didn’t really work. To distract me. From whatever the feeling is that keeps me distracted from everything else. And I just think, think, think about this feeling, without being able to place it anywhere except where it’s located. Deep within my gut. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">My best friend said that I make her nervous. Then I thought “you make me nervous too” defensively. Then I thought “we make ourselves nervous” I’m always nervous. I’m never nervous. Not anymore really. Just clouded by the shroud of contentment. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">5:34 pm. I think I’ve accomplished something, I think I can go to bed now. </span></div>
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Sentimentalism</div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">ate</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">my brain. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">It hurts so good. That I’m sad. No happy. No sad. No happy. No sad. No happy. No sad. Know happy. Know sad. Stupid. Know stupid. No, stupid</span></div>
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Emily Storyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00361922835945839553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3162412220712610637.post-12364905363238186102015-08-05T17:45:00.002-07:002015-08-05T17:48:12.955-07:00Clog on a Clog on a Blog<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Emily Storyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00361922835945839553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3162412220712610637.post-49796121498895114832015-08-05T17:43:00.003-07:002015-08-05T17:43:52.370-07:00Dance, Petunia, Dance.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Emily Storyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00361922835945839553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3162412220712610637.post-64137030221263376382015-08-05T17:42:00.002-07:002015-08-05T17:42:59.091-07:00Gender Bender<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Emily Storyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00361922835945839553noreply@blogger.com